Do your clients just vent & leave? Trauma Healing > Venting.

Our clients don't come to us to vent - they go to friends for that. They come to us to heal.

In our last email I shared about how a therapist in our current Trauma Training Cohort shared about her client, Jane*, who was  struggling in a romantic relationship. [not her real name].

The therapist shared about her struggle with helping Jane.

" I have been seeing Jane for a while, and though we have a good relationship, I'm missing something in therapy because Jane can't stop obsessing about her boyfriend and if he loves her. And the interesting thing is, I don't know that he's even good for her."

Jane* kept complaining about her boyfriend; and his hot and cold behaviors.

He was not being kind to her, and yet, whenever she thought about setting a boundary or talking through the options [counseling, assessing if this is a healthy enough relationship to engage in], she would freeze.

In their sessions, Jane* was adamant  on figuring out how she could get him to love her better. 

She would say how his hot-cold behavior was causing her anxiety...
And, at the same time, she was yearning for him to give her a sense safety. 

Externally, Jane* was trying to figure out her relationship, but internally, she was engaging with him from an Abandonment Wound.

Her child self [who experienced abandonment and sexual trauma] was seeking safety and was frightened by the idea that the relationship may not work out.

And the Adult Jane was frustrated and confused by his disappointing and confusing behavior. 

Clinical Consultation | Bringing the Inner Child Front and Center

In our LIVE consultation call, when the therapist asked for input, I encouraged her to put Mr. Boyfriend on the back burner [ in session] and bring Jane's inner child to the front and center.

Rather than getting stuck in discussing the relationship, I wanted the therapist to help Jane to meet her Inner Child Part of that was fearing abandonment. And work on developing a Secure Attachment. 

• Could Adult Jane see Little Jane who was all alone?

• Could she provide comfort and connection to that little fragile part?

• Could Little Jane see that she was no longer being hurt?

• Could Little Jane feel the therapist and Big Jane there with her, so she sees she's no longer alone?

And, could Big Jane realize that... though relationships can be uncomfortable, and stating boundaries can be hard, it's not dangerous to do so? And if she needed to shift or end the relationship, she would be ok?

Her Freeze response seemed to be connected to a  past fear being activated when she was trying to take care of herself. 

She was getting frozen because her Past and Present were getting collapsed. 

This is common in survivors of trauma.

When there is a trigger they often float back to a past time or get flooded with emotional or body flashbacks, robbing them of their current wisdom and strength. 

Good trauma therapy helps psycho-educate the client to know when it's happening, and work on the inner work so the client can heal the inner wounds/pain so they don't flood as often, or as intensely. 
—
The therapist in our Trauma Training is a wise one. She knew that she could easily listen to the client "vent" but that wouldn't address the core issue.

And as trauma therapists, we all want to help our clients get lasting relief; and the way to offer that is by tending to the core wounding. 

Using IFS/Parts work and Somatic Informed Tools, this therapist was able to help redirect the client, in the very next session.

She focused on lessening the emotional flooding, work with the Freeze survival response and working with the Inner Child Part. We reviewed a Somatic Sequence exercise for her to use in session with Janet*, to help her move through intense somatic sensations.

This is the actual work needed for trauma therapy.

Our job is way beyond listening; it's listening in for themes, unconscious beliefs, and conditioned responses.

• It's working with the neurobiology of trauma to understand their coping mechanisms, and slowly begin shifting it.

• It's giving our clients education so they feel less confused and more clear on why they are they way they are.

• And, it's in having a clear treatment plan and applying targeted interventions that provide deeper levels of relief. 

  >>> Our clients want to heal. 

  
  They want shifts to their core beliefs.
  They want to leave sessions feeling lighter.
  With more bandwidth to face their life and move through emotions with newfound flexibility. 
  And trust. Trust in you, trust in the process, and trust in themselves. 

  
  And this is exactly what I teach therapists in our Trauma Training Cohort to do.
  How to offer core-level therapy that leads to results. 

  Are you ready to help your clients achieve real healing?
  If you're looking to expand your trauma tools, deepen your skills, partake in LIVE Consult calls, join an exclusive group of therapists, and get lifetime access an entire Trauma Resource Library......
  

  Join our upcoming January Trauma Training Cohort! We've got just a few spots left!

In your corner,

Esther