Here's what's missing from the way you're helping clients heal

Trauma Therapists, here’s what you can do to give clients deeper healing in therapy.

You use your skills to help your clients; you got trained in EMDR, Somatic, IFS, EFT or some other therapy method.
You know the format and the modality pretty well.
But, there are times that you feel like something is missing in your session.

There's a level of disconnect happening in the room, or in the relationship, and you're not sure how to bridge the gap.
Here's how:

Focus the Micro Moments. 

Micro-moments are brief, meaningful interactions that create significant emotional connections between people.

The magic of therapy happens not just in the interventions; but rather, in the micro-moments.  In the data between the details.

Here are some examples:
> As you offer the couple the suggestion for them to try, notice if their breaths deepen, or if their bodies constrict.
This helps you see if it landed well, or if they have some worries about it. Then follow that. 

> Notice if the tears in your clients eyes flow with more ease as they share words unspoken for a decade. If tears are flowing, you can see the release.
You can say some comforting words such as "you've been holding this for so long. It's ok to let it out now.." or something like that to deepen the support and relief. 

> Acknowledge the let-down your client felt when they reached for a bit in connection and were met with silence.

As you tell me about Adam's response to your request, I can feel my heart drop with you; his silence is so quiet, yet so loud. I can only image how deflated you feel... 

> Lean in as your client shares their fears around beginning/deepening therapy with you. 

It makes perfect sense that you hold concerns about how this will go, and if you can put your worries down at my doorstep, for us to unpack together.

Trust isn't earned in a day, but, over time. Can I review what our work will look like so you can settle into the format? We'll also periodically check in on how you're feeling. Sounds good?

These implicit micro-moments create space of unspoken connection, and build a strong scaffolding of safety.

They foster a sense of understanding beyond words or 'interventions'. 
If you don't use the nuance of micro-moments, you're missing one of the most important ingredients needed for real healing.

If you don't work with micro-moments, you clients may feel like you have good skills, but they'll feel like you're not fully seeing them; not fully "getting" them.

They need more than your skills, they need you to curate a space where they are safely held. It is only then that they can engage in reflection,  contemplation, and growth.

And it is in the micro-moments where clients deeply exhale, and feel secure enough in the therapeutic space to deeply engage in the therapy work. That is when true healing takes place. 

Focus on the micro-moments to deepen your therapy with clients. 

Do you agree with this?

Warmly,
Esther

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P.S. If you're looking to learn how to embed micro-moments into your sessions, join our Trauma Cohort starting soon!

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