Here's how to break through to resistant clients
This is an image from my IFS Parts Booklet - get a full copy by clicking on link below.
Using IFS Parts Work When Working with Resistant Clients in Therapy
Do you know that feeling, sitting across a client who says they want help, but when you try using your skills, you hit roadblock after roadblock?
> They have valid reasons why they can't talk about "this"..
> They deflect and talking about the Crisis of the Week...
> They say " I don't know, I'm just blank"..
> They get frustrated with you...
Some version of this shows up in each of our practices - from time to time. Many trainings talk about the clients who want to dive in - & do the deep work - but what about the resistant ones?
--
You don't fight with the resistance, you welcome it.
You breath and you lean back. Don't work harder, work smarter.
Think: Security & Curiosity.
What is this part afraid of? How can I create more safety for the client?
What do I still need to learn about this client/part that is in the room?
---
Using a IFS Parts work perspective we see resistance as a protective part.
A part that is coming to protect; consciously or unconsciously. There may be a fear about sharing a core pain, worrying you'll judge the client, not believe them, or abandon them.
Or, they may feel safer not recalling the information. Maybe it's confusing and overwhelming for them, they'll feel flooded...or something else.
The details don't matter as much as the skills.
Your skills in knowing how to work with resistance will be the defining factor on if the client stays stuck in resistance or if you'll move the needle with them.
---
Resistance needs Nuanced Intervention.
We always work with the Resistant/Protective system when it shows up because if we don't, we get stuck in some form of gridlock; power struggles, colluding with the client or feeling depleted.
Hold These Four Messages When Working with Resistance
Most of you on here have purchased my IFS Mastery Bundle - grab the section that is titled; "Working with Protective System | A Place to Begin" and Jot down the Four Messages [ I shared there].
These are messages you need to hold in mind when working with Resistant clients..
This will change your next session.
Let me know how it goes!
Warmly,
Esther
P.S. If you purchased it, click below to login. If you didn't purchase it, you can grab it now!