Working with Shame in The Therapy Room | Trauma Therapist Training
“Soul Murder” is a term John Bradshaw talks about. This term refers to the lost self that happens in dysfunctional family systems. We often see this in clients who carry deep shame.
Bradshaw was a therapist, author and public speaker who spoke about shame, addiction, and healing.
Why we need to differentiate Toxic Shame Versus Healthy Shame:
As humans, and as therapists, it’s important for us to understand the difference between the two. Because, when shame is internalized, and moves from a healthy feeling to being a toxic state of being - to where some has a shame-based identity, that’s where we or our clients get stuck.
“I used to drink,” writes John Bradshaw, "to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed.”
“Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction, and drive to super-achieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. It limits the development of self esteem and causes anxiety and depression, and limits our ability to be connected in relationships.”
Until we realize the difference between Toxic Shame and Healthy Shame, we may not be as efficient in moving clients out of their cycle of shame.
As therapists, we can be skilled in using EMDR, Somatic therapy and Parts work, but if we don’t grasp the nuances of shame, we may stay stuck in our treatment. I know I was, until I dove deep into the work of Brene Brown, Janina Fischer, John Bradshaw, Richard Schwartz and Pat Ogden.
Image from John Bradshaw’s work and book“Healing the Shame that Binds You'“
I needed to understand the overlap between shame-based identity, roles, and current coping.
Over the last decade in treating clients, I dug deep into the research on Shame, Childhood Trauma, Neglect, and the Neuroscience of healing - to see what’s been most effective in helping clients remove the shackles of shame.
I’ve compiled different approaches needed for shame-based clients, and insights I acquired experts in the field… And have now created an easy to digest workshop just for you!
On January 27th, from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST, I’m hosting a “Working with Shame in the Therapy Room Masterclass”
>> This is exclusively for therapists trained in EMDR, IFS, Somatic or other trauma training.
In just one hour, you’ll discover:
How to identify shame that shows up in the therapy room, its etiology and how to treat it.
Learn integrate Parts work from Janina Fisher and Somatic Techniques from Pat Ogden to effectively address and work through the complex cycle of shame.
Dive deep into the difference between with Toxic Shame, and Healthy Shame, and how to move clients to the healthy version
Move the needle in you session so your client can progress in their treatment.
You’ll leave with practical tools and deeper insight and understanding so you can address shame with more nuance and confidence. Move your clients towards self-acceptance, respect, and a renewed sense of self-worth.
Transforming your Trauma Therapy Sessions with Shame Skills.
Imagine this:
You’re sitting with a client who keeps feeling stuck in feelings of worthlessness. You guide them through a somatic intervention that helps them access emotions they’ve suppressed for years - and finally release some if it.
You witness a breakthrough moment— a ‘aha’ moment that helps them see themselves [and digest what they experienced] in a new light.
They begin move from the shaming belief to being able to see themselves for what they are; worthy of respect.
That’s the impact of knowing how to work with shame.
Click here to register for the Shame Masterclass:
Move Your Clients From Toxic Shame to Healthy Shame so they can reach deeper healing.
This is your chance to show up to session with more clarity, confidence, and cutting-edge skills so you can have those profound moments in session - and give your clients deep relief.
Dedicated to elevate your clinical outcomes and to giving your clients relief that lasts,
Esther Goldstein
P.S. If you want to get personalized LIVE consultation, I’ve opened a VIP option for you to stay on after the one hour class - where you get one-on-one time with me to answer your hottest questions & practical implementation.
P.SS. Can’t make it live? No worries- join and you’ll get a copy of the recording!