You’re Enmeshed, or are you not?
Trauma Therapist Consultation & Training
Thank you all for your recent engagement on procedural learning. The focus, the past few emails, has been on our clients - and how to deepen our skills, professionally. I want to focus on you for a minute because who we are as people directly impacts our capacity to show up for meaningful lives - in our works and in our own lives.
Feeling fulfilled as a human + as a professional
And yes, I want you feeling happy and fulfilled in your own life too! [remember my last blog on success]
Let's shift the focus. All eyes on YOU.
Now, can we get real for a sec? Being a therapist can be amazing and inspiring and insightful and meaningful - and it can also be hard, lonely, isolating and emotionally taxing.
The truth on why we feel tired, as therapists.
No, it's not what you think....
Often, it's not because of the pains we are holding for our clients - we have good therapy, consultation,and training
for that...
The reason is, because being in this line of work means that we are often hyper focused on our own internal template - our own relationships fulfillment [ or lack there-of], family histories and more.
Hyper-awareness | A double edged sword
And, being hyper aware, though wonderful for becoming skilled at being alert, attentive and attuned as a therapist, can be downright exhausting as a human who is also "doing" life.
Life is messy. It's wonderful. It's joyous.
It's sad. It's a whole lot of things. And the best way to do life is to find that balance for ourselves - just like we tell our clients to embody balance.
Last week I shared all about Procedural Learning and then had a few therapist share about their push and pull between being highly attached to their "therapist part" and their desire to attach to "other parts of self" too.
This got me thinking...
How enmeshed are you with your therapist identity?
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Pause for a moment.
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Many many many therapists come into this field as wounded healers. Seeking to sooth our own pain or confusion, we dig into skills, research, science and knowledge and find our own pathways to healing and then offer that to others. It's Great. It truly is.
Healing = living wholeheartedly in our non-therapist parts too!
But, part of our healing isn't about being a therapist - or about our "role".......
---> it's about learning to embody health, flexility, joy, ease and letting ourselves have those moments of deep belly laugher. Of tears, of being held by those in our lives, by being in the unknown of life and of living in the ups and downs - in a more flexible way than before.
The secret to being a good therapist? Be a more balanced human.
I know it may sound paradoxical to put down that book, to slow down on the analysis or to lessen your caseload - and at the same time, if you look at anyone who is impactful and successful in their work [ any line of work] they focus on their non-worker parts of life.
Tell me about you | The non-thearpist parts
I'd love for you to tell me about a hobby, a skill or a part of your personal life you'd like to nourish more.
Maybe a relationship that's needing some TLC.
An important personal task you've been pushing off.
A pottery class, a child or loved one wanting attention.
Or your own therapy, relationship with a a higher power.
A dance class. poem or..
Anything that brings you joy, connection or self expression.
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Parallel Process.
Just like we push or changes for our clients, I am here lovingly pushing you to make those shifts for yourself, in your life.
Want scientific proof ? Reply to this email and I'll share some of the recent research I've dug into - it may motivate you a tad bit [ I geek out on research too!]
I love having you here.
And yes, I've got more rich emails and blogs coming your way, so thanks for being here and learning with me =)
Cheers,
Esther &
The Trauma Therapists Community